Applejack
by Blue Stone Shining Wolf
Summary: Team Tardis Game Night Series* Jack finds an opportunity to play matchmaker when Rose suggests apple bobbing as a way to solve a disagreement. *TTGN stories can be read in any order.


**Preface **

Happy Autumn! This time of year is when some of my favorite holidays occur, and is filled with many traditions and events. It pulls me from my keyboard and into the real world to observe these things. Therefore my ongoing stories have been forced to lie dormant for a while.

However, between the hustle and bustle, I have been able to put together an autumn themed one-shot with my favorite Tardis team. It contains a little humor and a fair amount of fluff. It is also the first story that I have written from Jack's point of view. I hope you enjoy!

* * *

**Applejack**

"When you suggested 'apple ducking,' " Jack Harkness said to his friend and fellow traveler, Rose Tyler, as he stared dubiously at the galvanized wash tub that sat between them in the middle of the Tardis' laundry room, "I pictured something else entirely. Like, the first person to hit someone with an apple gets to choose the movie."

"I doubt the Doctor would approve of that," Rose said as she attached a hose to the nearby faucet and put the other end into the tub. "Especially after the banana-Frisbee tournament. He wasn't too happy about that."

"That's because you ruined ten perfectly good bananas." The voice came from the Doctor, who had just walked into the laundry room with an enormous basket full of apples.

The mention of the Frisbee game had caused Jack to smile, but it turned to a frown when he heard the Doctor's voice. The irritated Time Lord had insisted that Jack and Rose clean the banana residue in the console room by hand though Jack was fairly certain the Tardis had a self-cleaning function.

"And what is it I wouldn't approve of?" the Doctor asked, directing his question toward Rose, who was sitting on a low wooden stool watching the tub as it filled with water.

"Running around pelting each other with apples," she answered, keeping her eye on the rising water level.

"Not inside anyway," the Doctor agreed. He walked over and placed the heavy basket on the floor next to Rose. "These good?"

Rose glanced over at the apples in the basket for a second before turning back to mind the tub. "Perfect," Rose said. After a pause, she added, "You were gone a while, where'd you get them?"

"Brokenstraw Creek, Pennsylvania, United States," the Doctor said, "in the year 1801." Jack caught the Doctor's sideways glance as the Time Lord waited for Rose's reaction. Jack couldn't hide his smile of amusement, nor was it necessary to do so. As far as the other residents of the Tardis were concerned, he was no longer in the room. The pair had once again begun their complicated dance of attraction that occurred at least daily.

"Why there?" Rose said, acting less interested than Jack knew she was (and thereby falling into her own steps of the dance). She walked over to the faucet and turned off the water while she waited for the Doctor to answer.

"That's the location of John Chapman's first apple nursery," the Doctor told her. "He was better known as Johnny Appleseed, and he established apple nurseries all over the American frontier." Despite the Doctor's nonchalant tone, Jack could detect an underlying need to impress. And Jack could tell by Rose's knowing look, that she had detected it as well. But the young blonde was either oblivious to or in denial of the fact that there was only one human that the Doctor cared to impress. And no matter how differently it went in Jack's daydreams, it wasn't a fifty-first century former con-man.

"You couldn't just go to a supermarket," Rose said with feigned exasperation. But as she sat back down on the stool and began to place apples in the water, Jack could see a look of adoration that was not visible from the Doctor's vantage point. And because Rose kept her eyes trained on her task, she was unaware that the Doctor was gazing in her direction with a look that was almost identical to hers.

It was cute, but it was also annoying. Other than the day Jack had met the two time travelers and had watched them literally dance to big-band music, this was as far as their flirtatious dance ever went. Inevitably, someone would get flustered and their interactions would all but cease until they were once again able to convince themselves that their relationship was purely platonic. Jack usually observed their uncertain choreography with amusement, but lately there had been more avoidance than attention. The avoidance disrupted the team camaraderie that Jack had grown accustomed to, so tonight he would ensure that their dance steps moved them forward, even if his tactics made it appear he was trying to do the opposite.

"So let me get this straight," Jack said, walking around the wash tub and deliberately positioning himself between the Doctor and Rose. He lowered to a squatting position directly at Rose's seated height and surveyed the apples in the tub. "We're supposed to stick our faces in that water and try to retrieve apples using only our teeth?"

"Right," Rose said. "And whoever gets the most apples in one minute gets to pick the film. Why?"

"Well, it's pretty disgusting if you think about it." Jack skimmed his hand across the top of the water. "The first person gets clean water. But the next two get a face full of germs." He plucked a floating apple out of the water and turned it in his hand. "All for _this._" He tossed the apple back in the water and shrugged.

Jack heard a scoff from his left. He glanced up to see the Doctor roll his eyes in an exaggerated show of annoyance. "As many germs as you willingly expose yourself to," the Doctor said to him, "I'd hardly worry about the trace amounts of saliva in the water."

Jack smirked. For someone who supposedly had an intellect superior to that of humans, the Doctor had a knack for unwittingly helping Jack with his schemes. "Personally," Jack said, leaning toward Rose and flashing an alluring smile, "if I was going to swap spit, it'd be doing something a lot more fun than imitating water torture." As Rose giggled and playfully shoved Jack backwards, he could hear feet shifting and a loud annoyed sniff from his other side. The Doctor was extremely predictable when it came to Rose and jealousy.

"C'mon Doc," said Jack as he stood up. "You can't tell me you think this is a good idea."

The Doctor shrugged. "I'm not affected by most of the viruses you lot carry."

"Then you can go last." He slapped the Doctor on the back and turned his attention back to Rose, who had stood up at the same time Jack had. "Now what about us, Rosie? How do we decide who goes first?"

"I dunno...draw straws? Flip a coin?"

"We could've just done that in the first place," Jack said with a laugh. "After all, this was just supposed to settle the dispute over what to watch. It's not Game Night."

"There are no 'nights' on the Tardis," the Doctor said with an annoyed huff. He took a few steps back, leaned against a stainless steel washer, and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"I know," Rose said. "But it helps us humans to think of the end of the day's adventures as 'night.' "

"I _meant_," the Doctor said, directing his frustration at Jack rather than the pretty blonde, "that there are no _theme_ nights: no Game Night, or Film Night, or Dessert Night. The Tardis is a time ship, not a pleasure cruise."

"But_ you_ started Book Night," Rose reminded him calmly. "Back before Jack even."

Jack thought he saw the top of the Doctor's ears flush slightly pink. "That's different," the Doctor mumbled without explaining more.

"I bet this is about last Karaoke night," Jack said with a grin. He had found the perfect opportunity to tease the Doctor and advance his agenda. "Rose and I pretty much left you in the dust "

Rose's face fell, and she walked past Jack to reach the Doctor. "I'm so sorry," she said to him. "I didn't even think—I didn't mean to leave you out."

"You didn't leave me out," said the Doctor in a soft tone that Jack had only ever heard him use for Rose. "I like watching you." This time there was no mistaking the color that spread from the Doctor's cheeks to the tips of his ears. "I mean, I enjoy watching you sing. You're fantastic."

It was Rose's turn to blush.

"Besides, it was Jack who insisted I participate," the Doctor said. He looked over Rose's shoulder toward Jack. "And I sing _fine_. I just prefer not to."

Jack held up his hands in mock surrender. "Fine, you win. We won't coerce you into participating in theme nights anymore." Jack sauntered over to Rose and grinned. "Looks like it's just the two of us."

As Jack predicted, the Doctor stood straight up and assumed the lead. "Right, that's enough standing about." He crossed to the tub and situated the stool directly in front of it. "Rose, you go first, followed by Jack. I'll go last. The one who gets the most apples chooses what we watch." He paused and looked at Rose. "Got the stopwatch?"

Rose nodded. She took a stopwatch out of the pocket of her pink hoodie and handed it to the Doctor.

"Fantastic."

Soon Rose was seated on the stool, ready to for her turn. Though Jack's protestations had been part of a scheme rather than genuine reluctance, the scene before him gave him a pretty clear understanding of why apple ducking (also known as apple bobbing, according to the Doctor) had waned in popularity over the centuries and was unheard of by Jack's time. It was inevitable that participants would get wet—and possibly drenched—in their attempt to retrieve an apple. This would have made it a perfect game for summer when people were wearing very little and looking for relief from the heat, but for some reason the game was part of Old Earth autumn celebrations when the weather turned cooler and people dressed to stay warm. The second problem was the germ issue. There were variations of the game that were more sanitary, but they lacked the history that made the original popular. Finally, there was the matter of dignity. With her head poised above the water and her hands gripping the side for leverage, Rose's posture was less than flattering. It reminded Jack of the position he had sometimes found himself in after drinking too many hypervodkas. Rose, however, seemed too enamored with the nostalgia of her childhood to care about these details, and seemed eager to begin. Despite himself, Jack became caught up in her enthusiasm and prepared to cheer her on.

After the Doctor said, "On your mark, get set...Go!" Rose took a deep breath and immersed her face in the water. She used the side of her cheek to push an apple to the edge of the tub and used the counterpressure to give her enough leverage to bite into the apple and draw it from the water. She then dropped the apple over the side of the wash tub with her mouth, took a deep breath, and returned to the water to repeat the process. Rose continued with such gusto that she managed to kick the stool out from underneath herself.

"Done," announced the Doctor in a voice loud enough to be heard above the sloshing water and Jack's cheers.

Rose drew her face from the water with a gasp, attempting to smooth back the hair that had fallen in front of her face in the process. Most of her upper body was drenched, and though the laundry room was fairly warm, she shivered slightly. She stood, and the Doctor handed her a towel from a stack that was sitting near the industrial-sized dryer.

"Thanks," she said, drawing it around herself. "Ooh, it's all warm and cozy."

The Doctor beamed at her appreciation as if he had accomplished a great feat.

"So how many did I get?" Rose asked, looking at the apples that were scattered on the floor around the steel tub.

Jack crouched down and began to count the apples, picking them up and gathering them into a pile as he did. "Eighteen," he said with genuine appreciation. "That was amazing!"

"Thanks," Rose said. "I've had a lot of practice."

"Yeah?" said Jack with a flirtatious grin as he threw several more apples from the basket into the water. "Well, I'm a quick learner and happen to be very skilled with my mouth."

Rose chuckled at his remark, but the Doctor huffed at its suggestive nature. "Just get ready for your turn," he grumbled at Jack.

Jack grinned at the annoyed alien then positioned himself at the edge of the tub. He didn't bother retrieving the stool that Rose had kicked away. It seemed to be more of a hindrance than a help. "Ready," he said.

When the Doctor said "go," Jack plunged his face into the water. He tried to mimic Rose's technique of shoving the apples against the edge, but the splashing seemed to cause the fruit to float away from him. After a few attempts that resulted in him swallowing water and having it fill his nostrils, Jack lifted his head up, took a deep breath, and tried a different approach. Coming directly from above, he submerged the apples, pinned them to the bottom, and grabbed them with his teeth. Soon he had a steady rhythm of obtaining apples and flinging them over the side. He may have lost time at the beginning, but he was certain he had made up for it at the end and had beaten Rose's number.

"Twelve," Rose said after she finished counting.

"You're kidding me!" Jack said as he stood up and grabbed a towel. He had ended up twice as soaked as Rose.

"That's really good for a first try," Rose assured him.

"Thanks," murmured Jack. He was surprised that he was mildly disappointed. Initially, he had been more concerned with playing matchmaker, but the spirit of competition had overtaken him. This also meant that Rose was likely to pick the movie. Jack groaned inwardly at the thought. If she had suggested a twenty-first century romantic comedy, he might have tolerated her choice, but there was no way he was sitting through another Jane Austen adaptation. And Rose had said that his choice of a fifty-first century action-adventure was "nothing more than blokes blowing things up in space." When they asked the Doctor to interecede as a tie-breaker (the Doctor might have favored Rose, but Jack knew there had to be a reason he owned all nine films in the _Megagalitic Mercenaries_ series), the Time Lord proposed they watch some documentary about the disappearance of Star Whales. It was this stalemate that was responsible for the fact that Jack was now dripping wet.

Jack watched Rose put the remaining apples in the water and realized that the Doctor was his only hope for worthwhile entertainment. Rose would stand firm on her choice, but with the right amount of persuasion, Jack might be able to convince the Doctor that he would rather watch Stanton Bode and his mercenary team destroy the terrorist planet of Barr than watch a depressing story about giant space mammals.

"Okay, Doc," said Jack with as much enthusiasm and encouragement as he could muster. "You can win this."

The Doctor gave him a suspicious look, but still prepared for his turn. He gave Rose the stopwatch then removed his black leather jacket, set it on the dryer next to the last remaining towel, and took his place in front of the wash tub. Though the Doctor was unaware of the attention, Jack did not miss that Rose's eyes were fixed on the Doctor's navy jumper. (Who could blame her? The Doctor's so rarely took off his jacket, that it was a feast for the eyes when he did.) After a moment, Rose shook her head as if freeing herself from a spell and gave the Doctor the signal to begin.

Jack was amazed at the spectacle that followed. The Doctor moved so fast that Jack was not sure what he was observing. All he knew is that one apple after another was being flung from the tub and that the apples were moving toward the Doctor as if they were under his command. The Doctor also didn't seem to be coming up for air, even when ridding his mouth of an apple. Jack didn't care. He whooped and hollered for the Doctor while simultaneously trying to decide if he should convince the Doctor to watch _Megagalactic Mercenaries 2: Terrestrial Tyranny_ as he had initially suggested, or the equally exciting _Megagalactic Mercenaries 9: Alien Agenda._

"And...stop!" Rose called out.

The Doctor sat up. His hair was too short to be out of place from the water and he seemed to be the driest of the three. Still, he grabbed the last towel and ran it over his face and hair, unaware that it caused his female companion to suddenly take in a sharp breath.

"So?" the Doctor asked.

Rose seemed to be at a loss for words, so Jack answered. "Looks like you won," he said. "Congratulations, Doc!"

"You're not going to count them?" the Doctor asked, sounding genuinely disappointed. Jack had to smile. The Doctor regularly made a show of disapproval over his companions ideas for on-board recreation, but he ended up being just as invested in the activities as they were. Jack sighed and gathered the apples. Then he counted them out loud.

"Thirty-six!" he almost shouted when he got to the final apple.

"That's brilliant!" Rose exclaimed as she congratulated the Doctor with a quick hug. "Well done!"

The Doctor beamed. "I've never done that before," he told her.

The corners of Jack mouth turned up slightly as he watched the interaction of his friends. Who knew that the Doctor's victory would have caused this effect? Still, he was confused. "Thirty-six on a first try?" Jack said. "How did you manage to..."

"I'm just better," the Doctor said smugly, but when Rose frowned slightly he changed his tone. "All right, I learned from watching the pair of you," he admitted. "I used both your techniques, plus I applied some principles of physics to allow the waves in the splashing water to direct the apples my direction."

"Still," Jack said, needing more explanation. "It's almost like you didn't come up for air."

"I didn't," the Doctor said with a shrug.

"You used respiratory bypass, didn't you?" Rose said, pointing a finger at the Doctor.

The Doctor's sheepish look was enough answer for her.

"I knew it!" she exclaimed. "That should be considered cheating! You can't use tricks not available to all of us!" Despite her protests, Rose was still smiling.

"The last recorded human world record was thirty five," the Doctor said. "Looked it up before I left to fetch the apples. But if you think I was unfair, I will forfeit."

An image of stuffy women wearing the drab fashions of nineteenth century England while nattering on about marriage flashed before Jack's eyes. "No, no," he interjected. "That's not necessary. Even if the Doctor had paused to breathe, he still would have gotten more apples than we did. I think his win still counts."

"Yeah, okay," Rose said. If possible, her smile shone even more brightly.

"Thank you," said the Doctor. He returned her smile then shot Jack another suspicious look. "Well, that's that. Let's get changed and meet in the media room."

* * *

Thirty minutes later, the trio was in the media room ready to officially begin Film Night, and Jack was hopeful that it would go well for all involved. As usual, Jack had claimed the reclining rocker, which meant that the Doctor and Rose had to share the two-seat sofa. (Jack found it peculiar that the Tardis had never seen fit to upgrade the media room to include more seating.) The Doctor had left his jacket in the laundry room, therefore his upper body was clad only in his burgundy jumper. Jack had a feeling that it was just a matter of time until Rose ended up leaning against the soft wool.

But the couple-in-denial wouldn't be the only ones benefitting from the evening. As the men had waited for Rose, Jack had spent the time conversing with the Doctor about the merits of Stanton Bode and his mercenary crew. After rehashing some of Bode's best adventures, Jack was confident that he would not have to suffer through two hours of watching the plight of Star Whales. Jack soon discovered that though he was partially right in his prediction, he was also very, very wrong. The lights went down, and Jack knew instantly from the ancient picture quality and the outdated production company logo that the Doctor had chosen a movie from Rose's millennium. Jack sighed. At least it wasn't a documentary.

Then the title flashed on the screen: _Sense and Sensibility_.

"What!" he sputtered, making no attempt to mask his dissatisfaction. "This is the movie _Rose_ picked!" He sat up straight in the recliner to make eye contact with the Doctor, who had paused the movie in response to his outburst. "You can't forfeit your choice! It destroys the integrity of the competition!"

"But he didn't," Rose said, coming to the Doctor's defense. (She put a hand over the Doctor's in the process—that was a plus, at least.) "I picked _Pride and Prejudice_."

"Which, despite being released in the year she skipped over," said the Doctor, "she has seen _thrice_."

"True," said Rose. "And every time I watch it, the Doctor says that—."

"If she likes _Pride and Prejudice_ so much, she should really watch _Sense and Sensibility_."

"But I always forget to choose it," continued Rose. "So when the Doctor heard my choice, he must've thought—"

"That it would be a perfect opportunity to show her _Sense and Sensibility_," the Doctor finished.

Jack's mouth gaped open in disbelief. Not only were the two finishing each other's sentences (and he was pretty sure they didn't even realize they were doing it), he had a feeling he had just been out-schemed.

"Did you have _any_ plans of watching a documentary?" he asked the Time Lord.

The Doctor's only answer was a wide toothy grin.

"Unbelievable," Jack muttered. He sank back in his chair in surrender. "All right," he said. "Have it your way. Just tell me—is there any redeemable value for me?"

"It has Hugh Grant in it," offered Rose as she grabbed a handful of popcorn.

"Who's that?" asked Jack. He couldn't be expected to keep track of twenty-first century actors.

"He's the bloke from _Love Actually_ you said was charming," she answered. "He played the Prime Minister."

Jack nodded. He supposed he could survive.

* * *

Somewhere around the midpoint of the movie, it occurred to Jack that he had become fully engrossed in the story. He glanced over at Rose, who (as he had predicted) was leaning her head against the Doctor's shoulder. "I feel bad for Edward," he whispered to her, referring to Hugh Grant's character.

"Don't worry. I've read the book," Rose said. "Keep watching." She turned to see Jack more clearly, and in the process ended up leaning more fully on the Doctor. "Anyway," she said. "The one I like is Colonel Brandon. He may be older, but he is so much more romantic and responsible. It's really too bad that Marianne doesn't see it; it's not like love has an age limit."

In the dark, Jack knew Rose could not see his knowing smile, and he wondered how closely the Doctor was listening to Rose's comment. Those two were hopeless.

Before he knew it, the movie was over and Jack was ready to sing its praises. But when he looked over at his friends, he realized the conversation would have to wait. Rose had fallen asleep against the Doctor's chest, and the Doctor (despite his claims that he rarely needed it) had fallen into an equally peaceful slumber with his arm wrapped around her.

Jack got up quietly and found a light blanket with which to cover his friends. It was worth losing the competition and his choice of movie to see them in such a blissful state. But as Jack stepped back and gave them one last look, he realized his actions had very little to do with the scene in front of him.

Maybe they'd figure it out on their own after all.

* * *

**Author's Notes: **The title, as usual, is also a song title. But this time I chose it for the name alone. I liked that combines "apple" and "jack" in one word.

Applejack is an alcoholic drink made from apples. When John Chapman (Johnny Appleseed) planted his nurseries across the American frontier, he did not plant the type of apples that one would typically eat. His apples were used for making Applejack and hard cider. (Therefore if any of the players had tried to do more than just retrieve the apples from the water, they would have been left with a bitter taste in their mouth.)

While"apple bobbing" is the more common name used for the game, apple ducking is used as well. However that is a term used more often in northern England, so I used a bit of artistic license in order to start off with the pun.

I think, most people are aware that Billie Piper started as a singer and the John Barrowman is well known for singing, so it is easy to imagine that their characters have this ability too. Christopher Eccleston does sing in the movie "Strumpet," but since that is the only example I have, I conclude that the other two do, in fact, leave him in the dust.

The actual apple bobbling world record was hard to pin down with internet searches, but it appears that the most apples bobbed in one minute is 34 by Ashrita Furman of the US on the 30th of June, 2010. My imaginative guess is that it would be only broken one more time before the game fell totally out fashion.

Also, if you have not seen the 1995 version of _Sense and Sensibility_, give it a try. It was written by Emma Thomson, who also stars in it. And features Hugh Grant, Alan Rickman, and Kate Winslet (among others.) And if you find Austen a bit dry (gasp), Grant found Thompson's adaptation more engaging than the original novel.

Finally, I am trying to make a habit of keeping updated notes on my profile. I will try to change these weekly to reflect any new news, so check back Fridays - especially if there is no new story posted.


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